In parenting, the limits seem to be hit fairly often. The feeling of “I can’t take any more” hits you hard and fast and there is no true way to convey this feeling to little kids. Big kids kind of get it. Sometimes. And when they really, really want to. But I have found, in my own experience of raising four children, that my declarations of “I can’t take it anymore!” rarely have the full impact I’m seeking. The impact that makes them pause in what they’re doing. Noise, chaos, confusion, mess, whatever. My words fail me and they fail them too.

I have finally found, after a full 12 + years of parenting - over 35 years of collective parenting if you add up all the ages - that if I want them to pause, I must pause first. You might be saying “Duh.” But for me it was a hard fought lesson learned.

So here’s my technique which is good in prevention and good in the moment too… Feet shoulder width apart pressed solidly down into the ground or floor - standing or sitting. Timer set for 1 minute. 60 measley seconds. Eyes closed. Breathe in. Breathe out. Repeat until the timer rings.

It works wonders. It brings me down to a sane state. It pauses the chaos. It slows everything down physically, mentally and emotionally too. And it sends the kids the message more so than any technique I have tried before. And from that point we can either begin our conversation anew, or move onto something completely different. Our choice.

One minute that can change your whole world. And your family’s world too.