There’s a lot of talk these days about overparenting and the need to back off a bit on the overload of it all. I totally appreciate this idea and am definitely an advocate for less is more when it comes to parenting. Less scheduling. Less homework. Less words. Less worry. Sometimes even less input from me, the mom, to them, the children. When I remember this as a parent, we are better off as a family most all of the time.

When it comes to building connection however, there is no doubt for me that more is more. If we’re at home and together, I’m a fan of turning off the phones, the computer and definitely the t.v. in an effort to clear the way for truly seeing, hearing and feeling each other’s presence. If we’re out with a crowd I love the feeling of making a spiritual connection as a family. It can come from a nod, a gesture, or even the feeling of being apart and then coming back together from it all. Even the times we’re rushing from thing to thing, to school, to an event, to an engagement or a class, I am all for slowing down for just a moment and catching sight of the fact that we are all in this together. If one of us can remember to pause in our craziness and there is a “wow, this is nutty!” uttered, it gives us a momentary connection that we feel on an almost cellular level and lets us know we are all on the same team. Sure we all need alone time, that I say without a glimmer of doubt in my mind. But to me alone feels way better when the connections are strong.

What is slow family looks different in every household. I believe the barometer needs be set by each family as we ask the question on a regular basis, “is this working for us?” It has definitely become my mantra as our family navigates our days and years together. If it is working, we are feeling connected. If it is not, there is disconnect.

When we live family life according to someone else’s dictate, in a way that doesn’t resonate with our own selves,  we walk in self doubt. When we pause long enough to connect with ourselves and find out what we really want, when we slow down long enough to connect with our family, from there we can find the joy in even the insanity of it all. Now and for the rest of our time together.

I am thankful so many people are giving thought to family life. I am thankful the media is catching on to the idea that something’s got to give. I am hopeful that in all of this talk each family will find the level of connection and comfort that works for them on a deep and powerful and lifelong level.