“There is no reality; only perception.” Shakespeare once wrote. If the sixteenth-century English bard was correct, then your perception creates your reality. The problem, then, when you are going through difficult times, is not that you are less successful, but that you perceive yourself as less successful. What if this were not the case? How would it affect the way you are experiencing your career and life right now?

Most of us tie our success to the results we bring in – how many contracts we sign, our income, the number of people who turn out to see us speak or teach, or return our calls, or buy our books or software or clothing designs. Over fifteen years of coaching thousands of Fortune 500 CEOs and senior executives has taught me that the relationship between a successful leader and the results he or she brings in is surprisingly counterintuitive.

The most successful leaders are concerned with results the way a swimmer is concerned with the finish line. If she keeps thinking about how far she still has to go and whether she will beat the competition, she will become easily overwhelmed and will under-perform. If she instead spends about two percent of her time lifting her head to make sure she is heading in the right direction, and the other 98 percent focused on the core processes that make her an excellent swimmer – how she moves her arms and legs, the techniques she has learned over a lifetime of training, the rhythm and energy she puts into every stride – she will reach the finish line before she is even aware of it.

When you spend most of your time thinking about the stock tickers on your screen, or whether the next deal will come through, or any of the other results you desire, you become the powerless child in the back seat constantly whining “How much further do we have to go?” You head down a never-ending road where your self-worth hinges on what you yield rather than who you are. You become like a mouse being chased by the cat of your own continually rising expectations.

As soon as you get the contract you’ve been aiming for, do you stop and say, “OK, now I can relax and feel good about myself. I got it!”? Maybe for a few hours, or possibly even a few days. But then the cat bares its frothy teeth once again, and you become preoccupied with the next result, which must be even greater for you to continue to feel worthy. Once again, you feel only as good as your last performance. Were this not the case – were a result to bring you lasting contentment – then you would be content right now, because you’ve already overcome many obstacles and achieved important results in your life!

The two greatest enemies of your progress are what you call ‘success’ and what you refer to as ‘failure’. The first breeds complacency, the second self-judgment. They also shroud the truth about success, which flouts conventional wisdom: Success doesn’t come from aiming at success. Success comes from doing what you’re passionate about to the best of your ability.

When you focus your attention on status, money, approval or a promotion, you surrender your power. Why? Because you allocate your mental space to these methods that others use to award you for how you act toward them, instead of how you act toward them. You concentrate your mind on what you receive from others rather than what you give. Even a single act of giving fully from your heart, mind and soul will enable you to realize this is the only true reward.

Besides (and more spiritual reasons aside) you have absolutely no control over what you receive from others. It’s entirely in their hands, and depends on many factors outside of your control such as their preferences, moods and the shifting winds of popular sentiment. As Lincoln once said when asked to review a book: “People who like this sort of thing will find this the sort of thing they like.”

Yet while you have no control over what you receive, you have 100 percent control over what you give. Once you make this mental shift, you will finally operate within your locus of power: you can always give more, or, even better, apply your learning from the past to expand, improve and better target how you give. Further, no matter what is going on in the external world, when you concentrate on how you can better give to your customers and loved ones there is always something important to do with your time.

Examples of companies accessing this power are all around us – especially when their customers have fewer resources in an economic downturn and, hence, greater needs. Instead of sitting around and lamenting their decreased revenues (what they receive), they balance their passion for selling their products or services with compassion for the evolving needs of their customers (and how they give to serve those needs). Hyundai, for example, recently created a policy that allows any customer who is laid off within one year of purchasing a new car to return it without penalty. Sears has revived its Layaway program so its hard-pressed customers can purchase its products in installments.

Shifting your focus to how you give to others doesn’t mean that wanting a good job, a beautiful house, approval from others or a position of influence is wrong. It’s not wanting results that causes the problem – it’s attaching to your wanting, and attaching to the results. By all means set ambitious goals. Draw a vivid mental picture of what you want to bring into your life. See it, smell it, feel it. Visualize yourself taking strong strides in its direction and reaching it. But then let go of your desired destination, put your head back in the water, and maintain a laser-like focus on continuously enhancing how you give to others to move toward it. Like the swimmer focusing on her technique and effort, you will be pleasantly surprised at how quickly you arrive.

There’s certainly a knack to learning how to slow down successfully, without compromising on other areas of life.

One of the motivations for slowing down is often an improved work/life balance. But the elusive balance is something that’s much easier to chase than it is to achieve.

As my job search continues, there have been increasing moments of wondering whether it is possible to achieve the career I once had, working in a way that I enjoy, easily paying the bills, yet maintaining a slower approach to things. There is also an impatience to get back to work that is beginning to tempt me to compromise on these principles more than one should.

As most successful people would agree, patience doesn’t come easily. So despite the econonomic downturn and everybody telling me that there just aren’t many jobs out there, I’ve been determined to find one quickly and prove everybody wrong. There’s no great urgency on my part, my redundancy money isn’t dwindling too fast, but the workaholic tendencies are pushing me to hurry up and get employed.

Despite rarely getting responses to earlier applications, suddenly some roles were available, and companies were wanting to meet with me quickly. In one case, the role sounded like it was far too big a job for me - even if I was happy to go back to a big workload and the related pressure, it seemed like a very stressful environment, with lots of responsibility and lots of staff to manage and oversee. A lot of responsibility, but for a great salary. And a prestigious role to have on my CV. Hmmmm… tempting.

I hadn’t even wanted to apply initially, due to the office location outside of London. A one hour commute each way might not seem too bad, but the work/life balance suddenly shifts towards the work side, with no time for hobbies or after work catchups with friends. I envisaged long days, commuting under dreary grey skies, to a woeful anonymous business park, working long hours to make a good impression and ending up working/sleeping/eating and little else on a weekly basis. Yet I went ahead and applied for the job.

While the first interview went well, I was surprised to hear that they wanted to see me back again - as I had rightly assessed, this role was much bigger than anything I’d ever done before. Then I learnt it was down to just me and one other applicant. I disregarded all of my rightful doubts about it, and resisted the urge to withdraw from the race. Practical me over-ruled my emotions and stuck with it.

Even the trip to the second interview proved stressful. Running and rushing to connect with infrequent trains, arguing with ticket machines, leaping through closing train doors - my blood pressure rising throughout.

While I questioned what I was doing, going through all of this for a job that I didn’t think I’d get and indeed, didn’t even want, there were still positives. The fact that I could even feel myself getting so stressed reminded me that I wasn’t that stressed out workaholic anymore, and that awareness is something it’s important to retain. Six months ago, I wouldn’t have even noticed because I was almost constantly in a stressed out state, running from meeting to meeting, juggling demands, without any time to process the fact that this might not be healthy or sustainable.

It came as little surprise when late last week, I learnt that I didn’t get the job. And I wasn’t disappointed, not even slightly. I was, and remain, relieved. Because the choice didn’t rest with me anymore. I didn’t have to confront the notion that I might have had to turn it down if it had been offered to me. It seems irresponsible in these economic times to even entertain the thought of choosing lifestyle over a job. To contemplate waiting until something that suits me, and the balance I’m trying to achieve, comes along. Because despite all of my best intentions, I don’t think that I could look the gift horse in the mouth and say ‘no thanks’

Perhaps it helped that the moment the interview was over, everyone frantically checked their Blackberries. Or that I learnt in the course of the interview that there weren’t 20+ staff to oversee, but 70+. Or that the train ride there and back was long and arduous. All I know is that someone else will start in that job, probably today. And I wish him luck, genuinely.

I just wish that I was brave enough to have made the choice, rather than needing to have it made for me. Maybe next time.

Note to self: only apply for jobs that you actually want, care about getting and that will allow for a life outside of work.

Hi all,
I am a Graphic design student in Bournemouth, UK and I am currently doing my final major project on promoting Slow to the UK.

I have written a brief, a (rough) outcome and a manifesto to support my project. Any comments, ideas etc would really help enhance my work and would be very much appreciated. If all goes well then I will carry out this project for real so you guys could potentially get involved!

More development work will follow very soon…

Brief

The aim of this project is to introduce and establish the slow movement mentality to the UK. The Slow ideology is to create a speed bump for everyday life. The goal of this shift in speed is to make people really engage with life and their surroundings; making richer connections with loved ones and friends.

Corresponding to the new slow proposal, the aim is to tackle the taboo of the common use of the term slow. There is of course a bad slow, being lazy for example but there is also a good, considered, slow. This fresh attitude on slow is the desired message. Ultimately the aim is to get people to enjoy and appreciate life by taking a break from the everyday hustle and bustle of life.

Live Slow 2009: a manifesto

We, the undersigned, are patrons of Slow. We, the undersigned, are patrons of speed. We, the undersigned, are patrons of life. Our slow is not lazy nor do we slack or stumble. Our slow is faster than you. We are the tortoises, and you are the hare. We win the race and enjoy the journey.

Like a tortoise we are wise and we are long lasting. Our aim is to engage with life. Living is a series of experiences and connections with our environment, we engage with every aspect of living. Our connection with loved ones is stronger, deeper and richer. And our connection with our surroundings is well informed, valued and utilized.

At home our slow is taking quality time with our family. At work our slow is considered, your fast is not. Our slow is more productive. We take time to look at all angles of a problem to make the best decision.

Slow is not a derogatory word for us; we do not use it like most. Your slow is synonymous with stupid, ours is the opposite. We wish to abolish the taboo of your slow and motion for our new slow.

Your eureka must not be too late; too often an illness or incident results in a new found clarity, but we propose you slow down now! Enjoy the existence you are here to live, we urge you not to hurdle the journey of life.

Signed:

Andrew Jackson

Outcome

A regular event, perhaps monthly, weekly or even daily that would promote and practice the slow mentality.

The experience would encourage people to learn about the slow theory, sign-up to the life of slow movement and, or, raise awareness of this attitude so perhaps the masses could take elements of the slow theory and incorporate them into their everyday lives.

Promotion of this event would be through a pseudonym of a tea party, afternoon tea or simply a tea break. The tea party would be an ambassador for the slow ideology, and act as a literal participation in the slow movement. The slow theory would utilize the normality of a tea break to represent the seemingly extreme ideology of the slow movement. Tea is an international phenomenon with many recognised connotations, which are perfectly appropriate for the slow movement. William Gladstone, four times British Prime minister relays,

‘If you are cold,
tea will warm you;
if you are too heated,
it will cool you;
if you are depressed,
it will cheer you;
if you are excited,
it will calm you’

These were the words he used to advertise tea to the UK. Tea explained here is used as a remedy to solve dilemmas. Now the second most popular drink in the world, tea has a plethora of associations. Tea break, afternoon tea, and tea parties and all the other social associations made with tea are a great representation of a state of mind similar to that of Slow. The common experience of a tea break would be used as a tool to demonstrate the seemingly unfamiliar slow mentality, by taking a break and engaging greater with friends and families.

Possible event types:
Annual - ‘Tea party’ - 12hrs
Weekly - ‘Afternoon tea’ - 2hrs
Daily - ‘Tea break’ - 30mins

The core focus of this site and Slow movements generally is about slowing down, taking time to do things well and to savour things. But it takes some courage to admit that the fast pace of life today doesn’t suit you, that you don’t necessarily want everything faster, bigger, better, now if not yesterday.

When you’re moving fast, through life in general or just in the day to day, slowness is your enemy. Think of all the huffing and puffing commuters rushing through your Underground station today, pushing and shoving… the heaving mass of movement that is impossible to move slowly in, without feeling innate pressure to just move - you must move or become some a sort of speed bump. Sometimes the same applies to the rest of life too.

There is a pressure to conform to an implicitly agreed pace of things and the workplace is no exception. Despite having read In Praise of Slow and wholeheartedly agreed to change my Blackberry addicted ways many years ago, I found myself caught up in the fast-paced rat race yet again. It’s commonly known as working in the City of London.

Whether it’s said out loud or no, the expectation is that most City workers are almost constantly working, all day, much of the night and certainly reading and responding to emails from door to door. My ability to walk whilst emailing became exceptional, although there was that one nasty incident with the near miss and the big red bus, but that became a running joke amongst my colleagues - ’she died doing what she loved’ would’ve been the cry.

Most of my former colleagues are still living life at that frenetic pace. Even more so now that the threat of redundancy and never ending rounds of job losses becomes more real. There is a sense of being seen to be busy, move quickly and don’t let ‘them’ catch you, lest you are next for the chop.

I count myself as one of the lucky ones, getting out just before the big waves of redundancy that have since shaken the City. There is a certain pleasure in having chosen to leave, rather than being told to leave, but that feeling only lasts for so long, and it’s certainly no use when it comes to paying the bills. Eventually, inevitably, I will have to go back to reality and get a real job.

Having worked in the online industry for most of my career, I am used to being expected to move at break-neck speed. Because the internet is such an immediate medium, there is an expectation (albeit an unrealistic one) that things can change and move almost instantaneously. That expectation, coupled with the City work ethic and increasingly fewer resources made for incredibly long days, working most weekends and stretching myself as much as possible to meet all the demands of my time.

The challenge now stands to find a job within that environment, meeting those expectations, without reverting back to the bad old ways. Is it actually possible to maintain a Slow attitude within an industry that expects everything to move quickly? Is there a certain frenetic activity that’s required in order to keep up appearances, regardless of whether it’s actually contributing anything to the end goal?

And how does one go about finding a job that might allow for the Slow approach? Can you filter jobs out that require constant Blackberrying? Can one refuse a Blackberry on day one at a new job? Only time can tell.

The whole approach to finding a job has changed and continues to move quickly. While networking over a leisurely coffee or two is still a viable option, the number of ways to find roles seems to have increased exponentially, even in the last few months. Job searches have been conducted primarily online for some time now, but even this is changing and moving quickly. If you’re not on Linkedin or Twitter, you will be missing out on job opportunities that are only being referenced there. And how long is too long to wait to apply. I am disregarding any jobs older than a day or two. God help any Luddites looking for a job - they’re probably still hand-writing letters.

So wish me luck. And patience. For while the world is moving ever faster, the approach of recruitment agencies seems to have remained unchanged - don’t call us, we’ll call you.